RIAA and MPAA Sues Unborn Fetus for Proprietary Loss

NEWARK, New Jersey — The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) and Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) have filed a joint lawsuit against Unborn Fetus, and Does 1-10 in a California District Court seeking relief for “irreparable harm.” The lawsuit demands reparations of $600,000.

Court papers filed on January 21, 2006 allege that Unborn Fetus and Does 1-10 have come under the enjoyment of several movies and songs originally sold to their soon-to-be mothers. The suit claims that the defendants have not reimbursed the plaintiff for the proprietary work of companies represented by the two trade groups.

“We have been unable to name our defendant due to the fact that he is currently lodged in the abdomen of a 25 year old woman,” says MPAA lawyer Kerri O’Connor. “We seek preliminary and permanent injunctive relief through the immediate abortion of Unborn Fetus and Does 1-10.”Unborn Fetus has suffered serious abnormalities, which doctors correlate to the pending lawsuit.

Unborn Fetus has suffered serious abnormalities, which doctors correlate to the pending lawsuit.

Asked who Does 1-10 implicated she answered, “We believe that other mothers with their fetuses have been walking in and out of the room. We don’t know whether the Fetuses are conspiring to watch movies together, and committing other crime, but it costs the same to sue one person as it does a hundred people.”

Tests show that Unborn Fetus has been under extremely high stress and has been unable to carry about normal day-to-day fetus activities as of late.

In February 2006, the RIAA and other copyright industry associations filed that that space shifting and format shifting, such as transfering music from a CD to a computer, do not count as non-infringing use, even if that person owns the CDs.

A statement released by Cary Sherman, president of the RIAA said, “We believe that Unborn Fetus has been involved in listening to music played on the Apple iPoo during the mother’s pregnancy. The action clearly violates the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.”

Sherman then continued to spit out a series of incomprehensible lawyer jargon.


The soon-to-be-mother Vonnessa McBride, 25, is not happy, she exclaims, “How is I suppose to control what my Fetus do! They ask me to get an abortion because he or she is in the same room watching them crap movies and hearing them shitty songs with me?” She added angrily, “This is just some white ass bullshit from some man named after a woman. He knows I gots no money in the bank and barely manage to feed myself, how many folks like me do they sue to pay for them big ass $700,000 house in Burbank.”


Sherman, quickly changed the subject when mentioned the insult on his feminine name answering, “Kids today are always on their Googles, and their Internets. They always try to World Wide Webbing their music. Unborn Fetus should have known to shut its developing eyes and ears when he or she heard the music playing. In that case, we would have agreed to a $500,000 settlement, because he did still listen to the beginning of the song and/or movie.”
On the sideline, Ms. Kerri O’Connor chimed in, “We at the RIAA and MPAA are doing great things! Should Unborn Fetus settle with our generous offer of $600,000 he or she will have learned a great lesson…that can only extreme poverty can teach best.”

America: Democracy at Work

Only the retarded kid dumb enough to go to the Never Land Ranch would believe that America is the best country in the world, that this is democracy at its best. Who’s that delusional fool that claims America is evil but less evil when compared to everyone else? Well I’m here to tell you that this country is a piece of shit! I’m here to present what everyone knows deep down, to say to America and each one of its Klansmen, hillbillies, and the never-ending array of poorly mixed-blooded children that this is the shittiest country I have ever seen.

Every Bushy, blind worshippers of that senile half-dead Catholic Pope and all their child-molesting friends should pack up their firstborn, dump that slow-witted piece of shit you pass for a child on the lawns of the White House as a sacrifice to Dick Cheney who will eat the bean sized brain they inherited from their parents. The US just proved it’s a complete waste of time.

I’m probably offending the one person with an internet connection with AOL dialup. I can understand why the hillbilly state of Whyoming, with an average IQ of 89 (source: IQ and the Wealth of Nations) and corpse-fucking inhabitants singing the trashy Wyoming song could vote Bush. However, there is no justifying why Ohio voted fascist. What kind of lame excuse is “Kerry didn’t connect with farmers?” I suppose farmers enjoy degrading themselves by connecting with a drunk whose uneducated wife and hillbilly children defeat in intellect, dumbshits.

Then there’s always Florida, the nastily shaped state where senile bastards that look like George’s mom go to die. Nice job old people, you bunch of wrinkly neo-Nazis for making the decision to stand in the voting line instead of the doctor’s to get that flu shot America doesn’t have. Hurricanes my ass, I bet the water is what rejuvenated your rotting skin enough to get you to hit Bush on the screen., or maybe it was one of those mysterious malfunctions of the polling machines that kept on selecting Bush, I’m not kidding with this one, there are actually machines that kept on selecting Bush.

Did half the country suddenly decide to wear pillowcases and vote for someone naïve enough to tell the media “My brother says we’re going to win Ohio and Florida” and his satanic running mate? Who knows, maybe Cheney is really just a nice old man who became CEO of Halliburton by handing out candies to everyone.

If this is a joke…It’s a pretty good joke.

Foster Children Have No Futures

Thursday, March 18, 2004, The New York Times ran an article entitled "Youths Leaving Foster Care are Found Facing Obstacles," unfortunately some mistakes got pass the printer, don't worry, we are always here to help out!

On Thursday, March 18, 2004, The New York Times published an article entitled "Youths Leaving Foster Care are Found Facing Obstacles," this is the outline of what Monica Davey, the writer of this column, had to report (You find the full article here or at the New York Time's website).

A study, tracking 732 youths commissioned by the three Midwestern states for $1.2 million has found the following:

1. 17-year-olds in the Midwest are lagging behind in school


2. Running into trouble with the law


3. Struggling with psychological problems.


4. Virtually all of the 17-year-olds were held back a grade.


5. Twice as likely to have been suspended from school.


6. More than half arrested.


7. More than a third had spent a night at a correctional facility.


8. One-fifth reported convicted of a crime.


9. Nonetheless, the study says that about 90 percent of those surveyed said they were optimistic about the future.

For about $3 worth of bus fare I could've saved these morons $1.2 million. Do we really need a survey wasting, trees, water, energy, lead, and time just to find out that foster children are more stupid than that old neighbour of mine who claims that his dead dog, decomposing outside his yard for the last year, is only "sleeping?" What else can you expect from stupid little bastards who lives with nuns and other stupid little bastards all their lives? The only fact that surprised me was the last who would've guessed that foster children would be so excited about their futures? Why stick in a line in reassuring everyone that 90% of the foster children are optimistic about the future? This is so great! These uneducated probably at some point incarcerated children are optimistic about their future!

Now, I'm not exactly sure if the gullible citizens out there today, stupid enough to categorize obesity as a disease, realize that these foster kids have no future. I wonder if anyone truly understands that most of them won't get into college, most of them won't get a job, most of them will be the people who, ten years from now will mug you on a dark ally. How's prostitution sound? Who knows? Maybe someday one of them will become pregnant, gods forbid, and...oh look! Out comes another foster child, don't worry; I'm sure it'll be optimistic about its future as well.

I wonder if they'll still be optimistic about the future once they become janitors at their local high schools, or flipping burgers at McDonalds, perhaps yelling "Price-Check!" at the drug store, but hey, work hard enough, someday you just might become Head Janitor of McDonalds how's that for optimism.

What the hell did they accomplish with this $1.2 million survey anyway? Why not just spilt that $1.2 million, you can provide the same 732 youths with $1639.34 each. They might appreciate that more than the day they turn 21 when they come home at 11:00pm to find another survey waiting for them, but it shouldn't take too long to fill out, all they really have to do is send that same blank sheet back.

A doctor...one of the many professions foster children will never become