RIAA and MPAA Sues Unborn Fetus for Proprietary Loss

NEWARK, New Jersey — The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) and Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) have filed a joint lawsuit against Unborn Fetus, and Does 1-10 in a California District Court seeking relief for “irreparable harm.” The lawsuit demands reparations of $600,000.

Court papers filed on January 21, 2006 allege that Unborn Fetus and Does 1-10 have come under the enjoyment of several movies and songs originally sold to their soon-to-be mothers. The suit claims that the defendants have not reimbursed the plaintiff for the proprietary work of companies represented by the two trade groups.

“We have been unable to name our defendant due to the fact that he is currently lodged in the abdomen of a 25 year old woman,” says MPAA lawyer Kerri O’Connor. “We seek preliminary and permanent injunctive relief through the immediate abortion of Unborn Fetus and Does 1-10.”Unborn Fetus has suffered serious abnormalities, which doctors correlate to the pending lawsuit.

Unborn Fetus has suffered serious abnormalities, which doctors correlate to the pending lawsuit.

Asked who Does 1-10 implicated she answered, “We believe that other mothers with their fetuses have been walking in and out of the room. We don’t know whether the Fetuses are conspiring to watch movies together, and committing other crime, but it costs the same to sue one person as it does a hundred people.”

Tests show that Unborn Fetus has been under extremely high stress and has been unable to carry about normal day-to-day fetus activities as of late.

In February 2006, the RIAA and other copyright industry associations filed that that space shifting and format shifting, such as transfering music from a CD to a computer, do not count as non-infringing use, even if that person owns the CDs.

A statement released by Cary Sherman, president of the RIAA said, “We believe that Unborn Fetus has been involved in listening to music played on the Apple iPoo during the mother’s pregnancy. The action clearly violates the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.”

Sherman then continued to spit out a series of incomprehensible lawyer jargon.


The soon-to-be-mother Vonnessa McBride, 25, is not happy, she exclaims, “How is I suppose to control what my Fetus do! They ask me to get an abortion because he or she is in the same room watching them crap movies and hearing them shitty songs with me?” She added angrily, “This is just some white ass bullshit from some man named after a woman. He knows I gots no money in the bank and barely manage to feed myself, how many folks like me do they sue to pay for them big ass $700,000 house in Burbank.”


Sherman, quickly changed the subject when mentioned the insult on his feminine name answering, “Kids today are always on their Googles, and their Internets. They always try to World Wide Webbing their music. Unborn Fetus should have known to shut its developing eyes and ears when he or she heard the music playing. In that case, we would have agreed to a $500,000 settlement, because he did still listen to the beginning of the song and/or movie.”
On the sideline, Ms. Kerri O’Connor chimed in, “We at the RIAA and MPAA are doing great things! Should Unborn Fetus settle with our generous offer of $600,000 he or she will have learned a great lesson…that can only extreme poverty can teach best.”

Betting on the Stock Market

The point of the market is to dump your shares to the bigger fool and anyone who invests their money in it know that the system is a fraud. Assuming you don't have hundreds of thousands of dollars that you're willing to lose, your net return is not worth the risk of your loss. Forget about paying your child's college outragous $40,000/yr college tuition, you would be lucky to keep up with inflation.

Ten Points for capitalism, the stock market truly is an efficient system…at screwing people. For the cash I spend to buy shares of Wal-Mart, I could go to Taiwan and buy myself three sweatshop kids to make me cheap stuff first hand, literally. If you’re not up for exploiting Taiwan labor, you’re a communist. Trading stocks of companies that exploit cheap Taiwan labor makes you a coward.

I was playing with my cash at the stock exchange for the last couple of months, so far, I'm up a unbelivable 37%, am I happy? No. It was obviously fake money.

Here are three simple questions to determine what you should do as an investor.

1. You are a risk taker with exceptional talent in mathematics can predict human behavior


2. You are very lucky


3. You have illegal insider information on corporations
   

If you answered yes to number 1 and/or 2, the answer is quite simple: get the hell out of stock trading and buy into a good mutual fund where they can care for your special needs. Monkeys can pick stocks as well as any stock analyst, proven fact, look it up.

Investing in the US and A

In his 2005 State of the Union Address, President Bush, highlighted the idea of privatizing social security, which would allow a portion of individual income to go into the stock market. This plan however, fractures more easily than fossilized crap.

The United States taxes regressively, the more you make the less you pay. For example, this website generates an average of $1 a day (it's really more like $0.25), while a friend of mine makes $1,000 a day. If I buy a bottle of Uncle Sam’s Propaganda-Punch-in-the-Face for $1, the 6% sales tax represents 6% of my daily income but only 0.006% of my friend’s. Though I sleep well at night knowing that I pay back such a high percentage of my income to society, I can't help but wonder whether I'm getting a bad deal.

No matter what The Wealth of Nations claim, capitalism is a win-lose game. Unless you are an US Senator, you will not beat the market by 12% annually (New Yorker 2005-10-31). The odds of beating the market long term is decent, but don’t kid yourself into thinking there won’t be a large group of elderly whose investments will get screwed worse than Dick Cheney’s lesbian daughter.

Final Words of Wisdom

To the low capital investor, invest what you’re willing to lose, capitalism is best at taking the little guy's money.

The "stockster" team (little white guy, fat white guy and black guy), those are bullshitters who probably snuck into someone's company to take the photo.

Don’t fall for scammers like thestockster.com. These are pumpers who ride a stock up like a cheap whore and then sell them faster than europeans give small pox blankets.

Finally, don't fall for those fat guys on tv telling you to come to their stock seminars...scam.

"Hello, suicide hotline?"

Dissecting Michael Jackson Some More

I was watching the news on NBC the yesterday, then ABC, then CBS, Sesame Street, and all of a sudden it hits me, the public can't get enough of Michael Jackson's trial even once its over. I can’t get enough of how every piece of fucking media is devoted to his case, most of them siding with the little Mexican kid who claims Jackson molested him. Well I’ve got news for you kid, I'm calling you a liar.

This was how I came up with a better idea, let’s not talk more about Michael Jackson, the man deserves some quality Me-Time after all the trash he’s been through. Instead, let’s talk about someone who doesn’t deserve Me-Time, pseudo-cancer boy Gavin Arvizo whom Jackson allegedly “molested.”

Take a good look at Arvizo trying to molest Jackson with his ugly face.


What do you suppose this little Hitler is staring at? I’ll tell you what he’s thinking under that little fag-do he passes for a haircut, that he and his carousel mother can rip another fine gentleman out of hard earned cash. Why does the media insist on refering to this twit as a “cancer victim?” They manage to leave out that the boy’s "cancer" is leukemia, at but a 43% mortality rate, it’s a lame excuse for sickness much less cancer.

It should have been as easy as kicking an ice skating black kid’s ass to figure out that Michael Jackson is innocent. If Michael Jackson wanted to molest Hispanic children, he has the money to fly to any country where child prostitution is on the rampage, for example, Thailand or Cuba.

Why would anyone take a second glance at this trial and believe this runt’s plastic claim? Who else but that fat bum Jay Leno would ever publicly state “You’re going to prison” nearly every single night since the case began. Leno should stick to telling his poorly written jokes and secretly scratching his balls with his big fucking chin when he thinks no one is looking. Leno is quoted saying "I guess they [the defense] have never seen my show," that's because your show sucks.

Its sad how society in general attacks the frail or the kindhearted. Thugs holding the elderly at knife point for a few dollars, robbers pretending to need a drink of water to get into homes, that Nigerian woman who wants to transfer fifteen million dollars into my bank account. Well to all of you pricks I say this, noddy noddy!

Does this face look like it would ever molest anyone?

No, of course it doesn’t.