Fuck the Falun Gong

Who the fucks are those people doing their little pussy dance in your beautiful park? Those are our dear old Falun Gong followers. This array of cultists composes mainly of unsuccessful middle-aged men and women. I don’t know whether these people have tried wiping their ass after taking in all that shit Falun Gong teaches, but that is definitely the first step to a better life.

If wasting your time sticking your ass into the air on 12th Avenue is suppose to be in protest against the Chinese government, it’s obviously not working. The Consulate was on vacation; therefore, the only thing appreciating these bastards’s ballet dance was the desolate building.
Nevertheless, apparently, the cultists believed that I, in my car, would be fonder of their pointless protest. As one of them came towards me with their pathetic yellow fliers, I can only think of one thing “IT’S GO TIME!” I picked up the shiny new wooden baseball bat I bought a few hours before and hit a grand slam on that person’s chest just as he was handing me his homemade flyer.

Here’s a nice trivial fact, on January 23, 2001, the eve of Chinese Lunar New Year, seven Fucklun Gong (coined) followers set themselves on fire on Tiananmen Square in pursuit of "heavenly glory." If the fine men and women serving in the police force hadn’t notice that seven people setting themselves on fire is slightly out of the ordinary, Hao Huijun, one of the survivors of this incident wouldn’t be quoted saying today, "What Li Hongzhi gave me is nothing but a badly burnt face. (Source: Xinhua)”

Here are specific reasons why YOU should stay away from Falun Gong

• You’re a follower of scientific facts: Mr. Li claims he “came from nothing and formed into something,” You can imagine how hurt this guy's mother must feel.




• If you’re a believer of that jealous Jewish/Christian/Muslim God here’s a quote from Li Hongzhi, the founder “I will also offer you salvation and turn you into Gods.”

If you happen to be in Brooklyn and bump into Li Honzhi, perform the on screen instructions. By the way, if you bag this guy and ship him off to Beijing, you'll probably get a nice cash reward for serving him a fine plate of justice.

I should try something before I condemn it. That’s why before I left my Falun buddy I got a quick lesson on the Falun. Apparently, the Falun absorbs energy into the body when turned clockwise, and eliminates wastes when turned the other way, well it inevitably turns to this.