NEWARK, New Jersey — The Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) and Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) have filed a joint lawsuit against Unborn Fetus, and Does 1-10 in a California District Court seeking relief for “irreparable harm.” The lawsuit demands reparations of $600,000.
Court papers filed on January 21, 2006 allege that Unborn Fetus and Does 1-10 have come under the enjoyment of several movies and songs originally sold to their soon-to-be mothers. The suit claims that the defendants have not reimbursed the plaintiff for the proprietary work of companies represented by the two trade groups.
“We have been unable to name our defendant due to the fact that he is currently lodged in the abdomen of a 25 year old woman,” says MPAA lawyer Kerri O’Connor. “We seek preliminary and permanent injunctive relief through the immediate abortion of Unborn Fetus and Does 1-10.”Unborn Fetus has suffered serious abnormalities, which doctors correlate to the pending lawsuit.
Unborn Fetus has suffered serious abnormalities, which doctors correlate to the pending lawsuit.
Asked who Does 1-10 implicated she answered, “We believe that other mothers with their fetuses have been walking in and out of the room. We don’t know whether the Fetuses are conspiring to watch movies together, and committing other crime, but it costs the same to sue one person as it does a hundred people.”
Tests show that Unborn Fetus has been under extremely high stress and has been unable to carry about normal day-to-day fetus activities as of late.
In February 2006, the RIAA and other copyright industry associations filed that that space shifting and format shifting, such as transfering music from a CD to a computer, do not count as non-infringing use, even if that person owns the CDs.
A statement released by Cary Sherman, president of the RIAA said, “We believe that Unborn Fetus has been involved in listening to music played on the Apple iPoo during the mother’s pregnancy. The action clearly violates the Digital Millennium Copyright Act.”
Sherman then continued to spit out a series of incomprehensible lawyer jargon.
The soon-to-be-mother Vonnessa McBride, 25, is not happy, she exclaims, “How is I suppose to control what my Fetus do! They ask me to get an abortion because he or she is in the same room watching them crap movies and hearing them shitty songs with me?” She added angrily, “This is just some white ass bullshit from some man named after a woman. He knows I gots no money in the bank and barely manage to feed myself, how many folks like me do they sue to pay for them big ass $700,000 house in Burbank.”
Sherman, quickly changed the subject when mentioned the insult on his feminine name answering, “Kids today are always on their Googles, and their Internets. They always try to World Wide Webbing their music. Unborn Fetus should have known to shut its developing eyes and ears when he or she heard the music playing. In that case, we would have agreed to a $500,000 settlement, because he did still listen to the beginning of the song and/or movie.”
On the sideline, Ms. Kerri O’Connor chimed in, “We at the RIAA and MPAA are doing great things! Should Unborn Fetus settle with our generous offer of $600,000 he or she will have learned a great lesson…that can only extreme poverty can teach best.”
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