TODAY'S NEWS THROUGH THE EYES OF A COMMON MAN™...and the occasional rant.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

A View on Homeless People

From Comrade Bhattacharyya (The Communist Antidisestablishmentarianist)


Have you ever walk down a street and suddenly a homeless guy pops up in front of you from out of nowhere and asks for money for “food?" If you actually gave those street beggars money, then you deserve to lose it, furthermore you are a dumbass. A fool and his money are soon parted.


Homeless people suck. I do however hate people who give money to beggars more than I hate beggars themselves. If you give money to homeless people, you become a victim, and you deserve to be homeless too. I don’t get it. Why do people give money to homeless people? You might as well buy booze, crack, and hookers yourself to eliminate the middleman. Do they honestly think they are making a difference in the world?


You think giving money is a good and charitable deed and that you are a good person if you do. You are not a good person if you give money to the homeless because you are a retard and you like fueling the plague of beggars in the city. People who give money to the homeless are the reason we have high crime rates and drug dealing. Charity doesn’t make a difference in the world. On the other hand, doing the opposite would make a difference, for the better. If you don’t give money to the homeless, they will die of starvation.


You may think this is cruel and evil (pussies), but it’s the best way to benefit society. If homeless people die, there will be a smaller population in the world. You will get rid of the non-contributing members to society and increase the average efficiency of the human population. A lower population leaves only the contributing members to society and thus puts less strain on the environment. Drug dealers will have less of a target audience and thus their business will become unprofitable. Crime rates will go down because of lower drug trafficking. Cities, states, and countries can spend less money on programs to shelter the homeless, combating crime, stopping druggies, and protecting the environment. That leaves more money for education and health improvement, this way everybody who isn’t homeless benefits. It’s a win-win situation and not a win-lose situation because everybody knows homeless people don’t matter.


A few days ago, I was in Baltimore Harbor walking down the street when a young hobo asks me how I am doing, better than you are obviously. He told me he wasn’t going to beg and started talking about freestyle rap. You’re obviously going to beg, so why else would you talk to me. I tried to walk away but this is one of those hobos that follow you until you play dead or you dish out 20 dollars. He started rhyming, pathetically trying to make a rap. “I’m sitting all alone out by the sea, all I ask is a little fee, to help out a homeless bum like me.” He must have spent a few years thinking that one up, and by this point, he was really pissing me off. I decided tell him my own rap as well. “Fuck off. Get a job,” rap doesn’t always have to rhyme. The hobo started begging and cursing. I couldn’t shake him off so I had to run to the nearest Barnes and Noble because he wasn’t wearing shoes. It’s then that I saw the book Mein Kampf for sale and I decided to buy it. It was pretty big so if the hobo came back I could chuck it at him.


The next day I was walking near the White House in D.C., atrocious as it was just being there, I had to notice an old hag who was throwing bread for the pigeons in the park asked for some money. She was the ugliest bitch that I have ever had the misfortune of looking at. She was dressed in red, white, and blue, had two American flags, and had a sticker of George Bush on her face. She said again, “could you spare some change?” Since she was throwing bread at the pigeons, I assumed she wouldn’t need any money to buy food because she was giving food to the pigeons. I decided to have some fun and I asked her why she wanted the money. She said that she needed it to buy food. I asked her why she needed it if she had bread in her hand in which to give the pigeons. She gave me a stern look as if I was evil, then that stupid crack whore called me a Nazi. I explained, “There’s a big difference between Communists and Nazis.” She stood up as if to defend her crack whoredom and her “democracy.” I then pulled out the copy of Mein Kampf, which I had conveniently stored in my backpack for just such an occasion. I said, “I’m sorry, I am a Nazi.” I gave her the book and watched her face as she read the authors name. Her jaw dropped almost as low as her saggy semen covered tits. I called her a Nazi and with her holding Mein Kampf, I’m sure a few people gave her odd looks.

I wish I could go back to the white house and make fun of that woman again.

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